I need to update that last journal anyway.

I just happened to click my profile (for the first time in a month and a half maybe?) and i see this~

[link]

lDDD;; this makes me incredibly happy.
Thankyou~

8D; jacked~


Tsundere (Harsh Outside-Gentle Inside)
[ ] You come off as sort of aloof to other people.
[ ] In public, you intentionally refrain from showing much weakness.
[ ] You have a secret obsession with something cute. (... secret?)
[ ] You pretend that you hate your crush even though you really love him/her. (used to?)
[ ] You blush when people point out your sensitivities. (fail to blush irl...)
[ ] You blush when people tell sexual jokes. (fail to blush irl, but i just start laughing)
Total: 0

Yandere (Gentle Outside-Harsh Inside)
[ ] You’re very sweet and kind in public.
[ ] When romance becomes a topic of discussion, people say your personality changes drastically.
[ ] You know some sort of martial art, swordplay, or otherwise. (is weak)
[x] You have a crush who you’d literally kill for. (......... x_x)
[x] You have a pet-peeve that makes you snap. (Certain people's actions.....)
[ ] Schizophrenic? (what?)
Total: 2

Meganekko (Girl-with-Glasses Character)
[x] You have glasses.
[ ] You can sometimes be clumsy, ditzy, or absent-minded.
[ ] You are always very polite in your speech. (depends on who i'm talking to)
[ ] You are fairly intelligent in some field.
[x] You take discipline seriously.
[x] You have some sort of fetish for something. (some sort of fetish. or a lot...)
Total: 3

Tsukkomi (Angry Guy)
[x] You have a friend who often makes dumb or embarrassing remarks. (... HI MIKA <3)
[ ] You smack/beat up this friend in some way. (not really, it's more verbal...)
[x] You do your best to maintain a calm facade, only to be thwarted by this friend. (oh you >__>
[ ] If you & your friend were a yin-yang, you’d be the “yin”
[ ] You swear a lot.
[ ] You try to bring out the more serious side of your ridiculous friend.
Total: 2

Boke (Dumb Guy)
[ ] You often make silly or embarrassing comments.
[x] You like annoying the heck out of your best friend. (LOL ILU2, BUTTHEAD #1)
[ ] You often get beaten up by your friend in some way, but you take it in good stride. (again, it's more of a verbal thing, but it's equalled on both sides XD)
[x] If you & your friend were a yin-yang, you’d be the “yang”.
[ ] You are normally very laidback and carefree.
[ ] You try to bring out the happier side of your angry friend.
Total: 2

Nadeshiko (Perfect Wife)
[ ] You are always, almost overly, polite. (always? hell no)
[x] You love traditional Japanese culture. (*A*)
[ ] You often wear either a kimono, yukata (summer cotton kimono), or apron. (i would wear an apron if i had one *A*)
[ ] You’re an excellent cook. (no, but i do like to)
[x] You are hardly ever angry. (pissed maybe, not angry angry though)
[x] You have really long hair. (... does mine count?)
Total: 3

Sexy Character
[ ] Your bust/package is...formidable. (what? OH, those non-existant things...)
[ ] You like making sexual innuendos. (i dont LIKE to, i just ... happen to... sometimes...)
[ ] You encourage trips to the beach, pool, or onsen (hot springs).
[ ] There are some sexual things that you are ignorant to or need explained to you.
[ ] You’re an expert cosplayer.
[ ] You like the taste of alcohol.
Total: 0

Loli/Shota Character
[x] You like sweets or chocolate.
[x] You adore cute things and/or the word “kawaii”. (... fuuta = cute?)
[x] You use Japanese suffixes like “-chan,” “-tan,” “-sempai,” etc... (sorry, cant help it)
[ ] You add unnecessary suffixes to the ends of your sentences, like “nyo,” “nyu,” “un,” etc...etc~~~ (lol, does the squiggly thing "~" count?)
[ ] You are considered gullible or naive. (LOL LOL LOL. OH GOD orz)
[ ] You have a tall/powerful friend who protects you.
Total: 3



.... wow, that told me nothing about myself.
Top scores: Meganekko, Nadeshiko, Loli Chara.

... = =; Meganekko: not me. main point is to be clumsy to the point that it's so cute, but... yeah, no.

Nadeshiko: sounds nice 8D; .... anikiii~~~ shall i start calling you by "Anata" now? >D

Loli Chara: not me, again. i do fit like 3 and a half of those, but i dont consider myself cute. or will i ever be....


anyhow~ tag yourselves 8D;

"omg 20 more until i can add one more digit to the total!"

surpisingly no one knew wtf i was talking about 8D;



but anyhow, i finally reached it~~

10,000 pageviews~ 8D; *celebrates by herself cause she has no life*


... okay! now what? 8D;

yes, that's right. schoooool.

actually yesterday was the second day of school, but i fell asleep before dinner and now i'm awake at freaking 2:30a.m. writing this.

i have to say. i dont like the people in my classes. there are so much people in most classes too T^T I want last year's schedule backkkk....

see, last year, i entered a course called "humanities" it's basically just english and socials taught in one class (that lasts twice as long as the other normal classes). since we took up 2 class' time, most of us in that class had other classes together as well.

which is good. because everywhere you go, you know people.

but now, most of my classes i'm alone ._. to top it off, many people i really dont want a class with are in my classes of which i'm alone. >__>

so yesterday was the 8-block day, where we go to each of our classes just to see who's the teacher and who's in our classes...

Day 1:

Block 1.1 (yes, it's no longer block A, block b, block c. stupid people. would've been better if it was. now we use numbers. great.) Drawing and Painting.

This class isnt actually all that bad. Just huge and there are people i dont want to see there. At least she sits far away >_> The teacher's nice though. I'm looking forward to this class actually.

Block 1.2 - Japanese

8D; One of the best classes this year. The number of people isnt overwhelming, and most of my friends are there. ^^ Yay, now looking for a partner for projects isnt gonna be hard~ ahahaha, and this guy who tried to say 'kiritsu' at the beginning of class was hilarious. the teacher's nice too. 8D i love this class~

Block 1.3 - English

I can't say I hate this class. There are loud people around, but a good friend is there. A nice girl whom I dont really know, but is nice, sits next to me. :3 The teacher's nice too. lol but she screwed up on the guideline sheet she handed out. it said "supplies needed:" and then you'd see stuff like "scientific calculator" and stuff XD it's cause she also teaches math tho, so i dont blame her :3

Block 1.4 - Math

Math. Ah, interesting people again this year. xD The teacher's nice, too. I dont like Math as a subject all that much, but w/e, I'll survive. At least I have people I know in the class~

Day 2 (oh, here's the bad day.)

Block 2.1 (retarded. "2.1", my butt >__> should've been called "Block F". now it's "two point one". why make it so long? >___> ) - Physical Education

Okay, I hate this class no matter who's in it. (*cough* i do like the people in it though... *cough* but i really rather he'd be in any class of mine except p.e. just because of my inablity to do sports. and all i really do is stand there most of the time, except basketball, cause i actually like the sport.) .... oh well. i'm only interested in dance classes *cough* >__> what? i didnt say anything. oh and maybe swimming. cause then i can skip again, hopefully. since i'm allergic to either chlorine or sunblock, i cant go swimming in that outdoor pool ._. sucks to be me, huh. at least then i have an excuse not to wear swimming suit~ ^^ ... but i really did want to see him in trunks. *cough* ._.

Block 2.2 - Socials Studies

the teacher's hilarious. and he's in that class too 8D; two blocks in a row. i wonder if i can walk with him to the class.... yeah, i'm a stalker, dont mind me. >__> i dont like socials all that much either, but i know some people in that class. and he sits so near. just in front of me. DDD: i'm gonna have a hard time concentrating in this class, i assume. just like math last year ._.

Block 2.3 - Home Ec. Foods

I do like this class 8D It's small, and there are people I know. And some of the nicer guys from my elementary (who was also in my last year's home ec class xD) ~luvdaisuke is also there. so finding a partner wouldnt be a problem. another friend sits next to me also. she's nice ^^ and the teacher is pretty ._. she seems nice tho~ so i like this class too.

Block 2.4 - Science Freaking Honours 9/10

Which reminds me, I still havent finished the second part of those notes I needed to do for this class. Wow, off to a good start already huh? People i know, but don't talk to often. Honours. Why the freak did I enter something so troublesome again? oh yeah, because then you get to skip grade 10 science, that's why. and at the end, you get to go to playland. woot. i'm actually more thrilled about skipping grade 10 science than going to playland XD but then we're gonna have to do provincials this year, i believe. D:
... i should go finish those notes soon. the 2 tests are gonna be in this month sometime. i hope we start with the reproduction unit first. i actually know that stuff more than i thought. and i'm done those notes already. the astronomy unit, however, is not complete. and there's so much to write down, i dont think i can fit it on one page (which is the limit for each unit) T^T eh. so lonely in this class. i was sitting there in silence most of the time. oh, the teacher's nice though, according to people and first impressions. :3 he didnt yell at us for being late. lol i had troubles finding this class. most of the section was closed off due to w/e they're doing to the walls in that section. taking out the moss or whatnot?

~~

.... *sigh* so lonely in drawing/painting, p.e., and science.
another year of p.e. T^T ugh. if the whole year was just basketball (and dance) then i'm okay, but we have to go outside this whole first unit. and the weather's getting cold. and the field gets moist and muddy. and i'm gonna have to bring in another pair of shoes. moreover, my locker's in the middle of nowhere. all my classes are downstairs, but my locker is upstairs. oh, science should've been upstairs near my locker, but since they're taking out the windows, we gotta use that temporary one for the rest of this week.
homeroom's lonely too. i know most of them, i just never talk to them. eh. homeroom for two more mornings (thursday and friday) and then we dont have to go again until report cards. this classroom is also in the section where they're taking windows out, so we gotta move to the portables. ._. i wanna skip it. no point in going. there's nothing to do there. = =; and i dont really want to run out to the rain to the portables and then run back in. ah, what the heck.

and i gotta change into p.e. clothes before i go to school tmr. cause first class is homeroom and then there's 5 minutes before p.e. starts. no time to change in the crowded lockers then. then, there's roughly 10/15 minutes to go to socials. that, i'm not too worried about....

i really hate how most of my classes are downstairs. last year was nice. science and math was upstairs. which is bright. and the seniors dont stand around. well i should be happy that my locker's not where the seniors are. they're tall. and scary. alot of them anyway ._.

oh! i almost forgot. ~DjangoX and ~xxxhitsuzen.... you're old 8D;
and will have to wear dresses soon 8D;

things like this and that happened.

though i'm not exactly sure what "this and that" includes.

if i think about it, i might have a small inferiority complex too. it's not a good thing, but i'm going to admit it. i like to think that i'm more than i really am. but even thought i want to think that, i know that inside i'm not much better than everyone else around me.

i want to become someone like you. someone who knows what to say at the right time. the only reason people say i'm a good listener is because i have nothing to say, so i let everyone else do the talking for me. i dont like expressing my opinions only because i'm not sure how others will react to it. i'm a wimp and dont want to see a bad reaction. i will regret every little thing i do, it's just the way i am. but i hate the way i'm not who i want to be. i desperately desire change, but i'm not willing to wait patiently for it. i want to be someone else. i dont like thinking the way i do. i dont like the way i'm rude to people. this may seem like a pretty depressing talk, but i want to put this down anyway.

even if i become someone like her (whom i do not want to be, instead of like you) at least i'll be happy that way. not knowing what the rest of the world thinks, and maybe not really interested in what the world thinks. even if i dont approve of that kind of behaviour, i still think it's better than now.

i want to either be a person i'm aiming to be, but wanting to go back to the way i am now, or becoming like her, changing into a completely different person, and not having depressing thoughts like this. if i became who i'm aiming to be, but wanting to go back, at least i know i've reached my goal.

but you're right. goals will change. and keep changing. this i will keep in mind.

even though i want to become a person like you, i guess that's not possible. even when i reach the day i'm in grade 12, maybe i'll still think of reaching my goals with my own actions instead of letting fate carry me there.

afterall, i'm not the type of person to be satisfied with just sitting around

~~~

... dang, it's 9 minutes past 4am! i pulled a 'carmen' again X___x

i'll do my best and try to tell myself a story as i sleep and see what kind of dream i'll wake up from. thankyou, and sweet dreams ^^